A View Askew
(Or: Did the Dinosaurs See the Comet?)
Sep 2014 Issue
17
Sep 1st, Last Day of Minnesota State Fair
Sept 2nd
Okay, a bit of an
exaggeration but that’s what it seems like.
“I come not to praise summer but to bury it.” (Apologies
to Mark Antony the Shakespeare character not the singer.)
It is ever
thus that we long suffering Minnesotans roll smoothly through our theater of
seasons without protesting.
Well, I
protest! Why the hell does Minnesota have to turn on you like schizophrenic pit
bull; one moment quietly at your feet like a beautiful summer morning . . . then
trying to tear your heart out through your parka!
The short
days and long nights, the cold, the snow, the parkas and boots. Is that any way
to live? (Rhetorical question.) No, it’s not.
As I tell
anyone who will listen (and they are getting more scarce,) I have been all over
the world and there is no place I’d rather be than in Minnesota . . . in the
summer. On the other hand, as I have gotten older I have also come to embrace
the same thoughts as my dad as he got older; Minnesota sucks in the winter
(paraphrasing pop of course.) Mom and dad never had the wherewithal to bail out
of here in the winter however I am now willing sacrifice a lot of other things
for that very reason.
Stand by for
more whimpering as the winter unfolds once more.
Short Takes
The 27th
Annual Male Bonding and Golf Outing is in the books. (Now named the Tim Fuzzey Memorial Golf
Tournament in honor of the first one of us to pass, see March Issue 10 for more on Timmy)
This year’s
soiree was organized like a military campaign (fortunately NOT like Iraq or
Afghanistan.) The guy in charge this year, whose position over the years we
have come to call the TDP, Total Dictatorial Power (for his ability to inflict
swift and painful punishment for any untoward comments or whining by any
participant,) put countless hours into this outing. Unfortunately, after we all reviewed the one paragraph of
“do’s” and 26 pages of “don’ts” we concluded that the TDP had either lost his
mind from the stress of herding this group of cats or he was a sadist and there were rumblings in the crowd about mutiny. (Dear Leader, with his usual diplomacy, was able to defuse this dangerous situation by ordering another round of drinks for the malcontents.) In any event, thanks, Ace, for a great job!
This year’s
event took place up near Giant’s Ridge in the far northern part of the state.
(Where, oddly, no one actually encouraged us to return.) After three days of
furious competition and two late nights of drunken debauchery (Okay, we almost
stayed up until ten one night!) we all agreed that the golf was fun but it was time to sleep in our own beds again (assuming they were still in our houses.)
This year
our group, for the first time, had 16 spirited competitors rather than our
usual eight. (By that I mean 16 guys who were often overcome by liquid spirits
of one sort or another.) This also means we had a number of new faces who added
a very interesting ingredient to our golfing Bouillabaisse.
We had new
competitors from that hot bed of heathens, Las Vegas, who acquitted themselves
quite well even if they were shell shocked by the “cold” low 70”s temperatures of northern Minnesota (and all the trees and grass on the courses.)
Also,
Upstate New York sent several of its finest golfers who, while used to our
weather, seemed confused by the quaint, civil manners of us native Minnesotans. Good guys all, proving that upstate probably should secede from the rest of New York.
On the other
hand, many of the so called “legacy” golfers (code for old guys who have been
coming back year after year) had to fight the urge to shun the “newbies” for
their lack of respect for said legacy golfers. By that I mean, kicking our ass
at golf!
Alas, I was not the Champion golfer this
year and it’s very unfortunate since I kind of went ahead and inscribed my name
on the trophy so confident was I. Young Mr. Tom Hansen (young is a relative
term in this group; he is social security eligible after all) played
masterfully and deserved to win. Nonetheless, like Gore V Bush there have been
a number of calls for recounts (mostly by me) so I’m hoping this delay his coronation for
just a while so I can fix that stupid trophy! (The trophy, BTW, that we now lovingly
call “The Fuzz” in honor of our departed brother.)
On that note, I REALLY hope that we are all on
this side of the grass for number 28 next year.
Pooping in the Yard
I take it
that you’ve heard of the “The Yard”, the huge park-to-be to accompany the new
Viking stadium in downtown Mpls. You may also have heard no one wants to manage
it, especially not the Minneapolis Park Board (which has maintained one of the
finest urban park systems in the world for 135 years.) And why is this you may
ask? You're in luck because I can tell you. It’s because a certain rich football owner was able to bully negotiate for
some 80 days a year for special (and profitable) corporate events making it
almost impossible to design a park that, you know, is actually a park. (Keeping
in mind that the stupid football season only has ten assured home games – what a deal!)
As one of
the commissioners on the Board said, “It ain’t a park, and it certainly isn’t
public.”
You know, in
the future when they write book about rubes being taken by fast talkers from
the East Coast there will be a picture of the Viking stadium – and bunch of us
Minnesotans standing around wearing straw hats with manure on our shoes.
Thanks,
Ziggy, may we have another!?
Now a Sports Antidote to the Above
 |
| Look closely and you will see that these guys are watching their competition very intently |
Recently the
organization that I volunteer for, Courage Kenny (formerly Courage Center) hosted the National Wheelchair
Softball World Series. There were over 50 teams from all over the country (and
one from Japan) playing in the tournament.
Every time
I’m around these kinds of events it reminds me that volunteering at Courage
Kenny gives me a lot more than I give them. It has taught me that “disability”
is just a word, not a prison sentence. It has taught me that the vast majority
of people with disabilities are like these guys, with jobs who work hard every day and look forward to competing in a sport they love.
Just like, um, the rest of us. (And should remind us of why we play sports in the first
place.)
It has also
taught me that we might be dopes when it comes to professional sports and we
may have lot of other problems here but any country that sponsors events like this is
still a pretty good place to live. Safe at Home!
 |
| Your hard working volunteers providing valuable services to our clients |
Very short
video to give you a taste of how hard these guys play – take a look.
New Songs
for Old Farts
(Why in the hell can’t they have nice names like the Beatles or the Eagles?!)
Things That I Think About
Apparently I’ve been asleep for the past thirty years. It
seems there have been quite a few changes in our country and society. One of
the biggest appears to be the disappearance of labor. I guess it’s because of
the rise of the service economy or the rise of the shareholder society or the
rise of something or other but it appears that few of us actually labor
anymore. Except, of course, those immigrants who do all that distasteful roof
repair and yard work. (I do note, however, that they are being replaced by white, senior citizens now at fast food places - hmmm.) Now that isn't to say that we don’t work hard, it’s just
that we don’t do work that actually makes stuff. (It’s either been outsourced
or a robot does it now. I also know that many of us, thanks to our smart
technology, now work longer than ever and for the same pay.) It just seems sort
of like most of us have become part of management or, less generously, we’ve
all become part of the overhead. (Imagine a company that has a larger HR
department than production department and you get the idea.) Say, I wonder if
that has anything to do with the trade deficit? Anyway, it brings me to my
point; why do we need a Labor Day?
Disclaimer: I am not now nor have I ever been a union member
or fellow traveler. I’m neither for nor against, I just haven’t been in a job
that was unionized. I guess I’ve always been part of the overhead.
That said, remember the strike by a (former) Northwest
Airlines union several years ago? That provided the perfect rationale for
canceling Labor Day. Apparently the company no longer needed the high priced
skills of these union members. In fact, the company implored all their high
priced union members to give up a little somethin' somethin' for the company. I
don’t doubt for a minute that this was necessary to keep the company from going
bankrupt (which it did anyway) it just seems so . . . 19th century? Meanwhile,
in Detroit the auto union members coughed up some serious concessions. I know,
I know it was all their fault but it didn’t stop the entire industry from
basically collapsing anyway. (As we know now it wasn't enough – Detroit went bankrupt too.) It seems there just aren't a lot options left for those poor CEOs
(decision-wise, not stock-wise) except to “right size” their work force.
These are just some recent examples of the irrelevance of
unions and, by extension, labor. Think about steelworkers, apparel and
furniture makers or 2 million manufacturing jobs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very
aware of the concept of “creative destruction” and all the benefits that have
accrued to the US economy from it (allegedly). Of course, in the past when jobs
were destroyed in the USA
better ones were also created somewhere else in the USA
So forget unions (unless you're a government worker who, ironically, probably needs them the least.) WalMart doesn't need unionized people. Yard
care services don’t need no stinking unions. Coffee shops don’t need unions. Investment bankers certainly don’t need unions nor do all those marketing types at
health insurance companies. Personal health care assistants – one of the fastest growing jobs in America with a staggeringly overpaid $10.05/hr wage - on the other hand maybe could use a union but aren't going to get one.
So if we don’t really labor and we don’t really need labor unions
then why do we need a so-called Labor Day? In fact, it strikes me that this
celebration is basically a giant assault perpetrated by those greedy workers against
all those poor corporations of this country, large and small (who are now,
according to the Supreme Court, “people”) - it's just another non-working, no profit day!
As I think about it, there are a lot other things we could
fix in this regard. For example, as part of the intellectual capital of the
country, why do we only work an average of 50 hours a week (for the same median
pay as 20 years ago an inflation-adjusted basis - and still paid for 40 hours, by the
way). Our grandparents worked 70 hours a week for a lot less and were happy to
have a job! And think what we could do for shareholder value if we got rid of
some of those other pesky benefits (that, by and large, unions gave us.) I
mean, do we really need TWO days off on the weekend? (You DO get two days off, don't you?) Or paid overtime? It’s not
like we’re really working anymore anyway. Or how about vacation days? Apparently workers
are getting way too many since only 60% use there’s (and then not really since they're answering emails and stuff.) And what about all those other holidays?
Does anyone really remember anything on Memorial Day? Nah. Veterans Day - who
cares. Even Christmas Day - whatever happened to separation of church and
state?! What a waste of time that could be better spent on the job! And how
about those pensions and health care benefits … oh, never mind.
So here's my modest proposal: Let’s just forget Labor Day
and get on with the business of America which is… hmmm, I forget.
Ah, the perfect Labor Day song . . .
Billy Joel Allentown
More Things That I Think I Think About
Dead Comedians SocietyRobin Williams . . .
Yet another
brilliant artist decides to check out. The same blah blah blah about how close
genius and insanity are. Nonetheless, I just don’t know what to say anymore
because it is so difficult to comprehend; both the genius and the insanity.
I’ve read a
lot of commentary about mental illness and how insidious it is. I get that. But
why is it that so many of the smartest, most talented – and funny - people are
afflicted with this self destructive gene? Is it some sort of genetic joke
played on these people – you get one but you have to take the other too? Or do
they peer over the abyss and see something the rest of us don’t? (Of course,
drugs don’t help – but then, are they a symptom or a cause?)
I read
somewhere recently that “aging” Caucasian guys who have thoughts about suicide
are the most likely to act on it. Well, I am not inflicted with the genius gene
so I’m hoping that protects this aging Caucasian guy!
And
The Wisdom of George Carlin.
The passing of Robin Williams reminds me that often
comedians give us the most profound insights into our society and no one was
better than the also dead George Carlin. Most people, when thinking about
George, remember him for only creating “the 7 words you can’t say on TV.” While
amusing that does nothing to expose his genius for recognizing and explaining
all the little truths of life, especially in America. I have struggled over the
years to try and make sense of the things I see. All I needed to do was read
Carlin to understand . . . that I will never understand anything like he does!
Enjoy.
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller
buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We
spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses
and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees
but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more
problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh
too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired,
read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our
possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and
hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've
added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and
back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered
outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better
things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big
men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the
days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These
are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet,
to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in
the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time
when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because
they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone
who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and
leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because
that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a
cent.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
And finally.
There’s a reason that education sucks, and it’s the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. It’s never going to get any better, don’t look for it. Be happy with what you’ve got. Because the owners of this country don’t want that. I’m talking about the real owners now, the big, wealthy, business interests that control all things and make the big decisions. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want; they want more for themselves and less for everybody else. But I’ll tell you what they don’t want—they don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that. That doesn’t help them. That’s against their interest.
I just wish he was around to comment on our astounding devotion to our smart phones - it would be priceless!
Amen and RIP, George. (1937-2008)
Amen and RIP, George. (1937-2008)
Dougie’s
Doggerel Poetry for American Workers!
IT COULDN’T BE DONE
~ Edgar Guest
Somebody
said it couldn't be done,
But he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
But he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing and he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.
Somebody
scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;
At least no one has ever done it";
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing and he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.
At least no one has ever done it";
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat,
And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing and he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.
There are
thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.
There are thousands to prophesy failure;
There are thousands to point out to you, one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start to sing as you tackle the thing
That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.
Thanks for Reading - Hope you
don’t totally regret your time wasted spent here with Dear Leader’s
thoughts.
“Be a good citizen
of your world . . . ”
 |
| Muffy, I think we could have posed for this picture a little differently. |
. . . and don’t be
a dope.
Quote Du Jour
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having
you here.” - Stephen Bishop
A View Askew is the sole property of D Roger Pederson, Mpls MN. You may forward without special permission but if you want to use anything here for your own purposes please send me a request at dpeders2002@gmail.com.
A View Askew
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