A View Askew
(Or: Did the Dinosaurs See the Comet?)
Jul 2014 Issue
15
Do
Not Be Hasty in Your Judgment!
Clearly, the clothing of a troubled person?
It’s Not What it Seems
I
know what you’re thinking: Dear Leader is either making light of drinking or
people who wear dumb t-shirts. Although both are possible, in all honesty it’s
neither; it’s the acknowledgment that alcohol is one of the five fundamental
elements of the universe. I know what you were taught in Physics 101 (if you’re
like me, the ONLY physics class taken) that after the Big Bang four forces were
created: gravity, electromagnetic force, strong force, weak force. Well, ok, true
BUT incomplete. The fifth, booze, was discovered slightly later. (And remember the Big Bang was
only about 6000 yrs ago or so.)
Anyway,
it’s a well known fact now that after Adam and Eve (last name unknown but some
speculate it was Smirnoff) were ejected from the Garden of Eden (which, I
suppose, could be called the Big Bust) and resulted in the first domestic
altercation: “My God, you listened to a freaking snake and now we’re being
foreclosed on?! I want my rib back!” More importantly, Adam
decided that they couldn’t really get their heads around the fact that the good
life was over unless they had a good, stiff drink. Thus was born the liquor
industry. (You don’t have to trust me, just look it up.) If you didn’t know all
this it’s because you don’t drink enough and/or haven’t been reading the View
Askew.
So
before you belittle the t shirt above just remember that there must be a reason for
the saying “In vino veritas.” And, I might add, “vodka est in splendore!” (“In vodka is brilliance!”)
You’re
welcome.
Short Takes
Great Graduation
Speeches
Steve Jobs
went there, addressing death in a 2005 speech to Stanford, which was after his
2004 cancer diagnosis. Gradspot.com gave it an award for the "Best
Ironically Uplifting Comment About Death."
“Death is very likely the single best invention of life.
It’s life’s change agent; it clears out the old to make way for the new. Right
now, the new is you. But someday, not too long from now, you will gradually
become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it’s quite
true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t
be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s
thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice,
heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.
Everything else is secondary… Stay hungry, stay foolish.”
How's that for uplifting? Perhaps we should look forward to an iFuneral.
Pardon Me, Boy, Is That the Poor
People’s Choo Choo?
From
Bloomberg Business Week, Christina Larson, Jan 20, 2014
I love those Direct TV ads. You know, the ones that say, “If your cable goes down you get bored. When you get bored you . . .” and go on to catastrophe.
This is what happens when I get bored. I start thinking. When I
start thinking, I think about why some things are the way they are. When I
start thinking about why things are the way they are I think about why some
people have everything and some people have nothing. When I start thinking
about why some people have everything and some people have nothing I think
about how lucky I am to have something. When I start thinking about how lucky I
am I think about how unlucky others are. When I start thinking how unlucky
others are, I start thinking . . . who cares?
Well, it just goes on and on and eventually I give up because it hurts
my head. But all that thinking does cause me to find a lot of information that
only makes my head hurt worse so in the spirit of sharing, here you go.
From Oxfam article below:
From Oxfam article below:
The world’s richest 85 individuals
own as much as the bottom half of the world’s population—that’s 3.5
billion people. Yowser! (More facts from the paper in link
below.)
“On the eve of World Economic Forum, when the global elite
gather in Davos, Switzerland, to forecast international trends, Oxfam
International has released a new report, Working for the Few, (PDF) documenting yawning
global wealth disparities. Other findings:
• In 24 out of 26
countries studied, the richest 1 percent has increased their share of national
wealth since 1980.
• In the U.S., 95 percent of post-financial-crash wealth generated (i.e., since 2009) went into the bank accounts of the richest 1 percent.
• Nine in 10 people in the U.S. control less wealth in real terms than they did before the financial crash.”
• In the U.S., 95 percent of post-financial-crash wealth generated (i.e., since 2009) went into the bank accounts of the richest 1 percent.
• Nine in 10 people in the U.S. control less wealth in real terms than they did before the financial crash.”
I offer this not to stir up so called “Class warfare” – as
Warren Buffet said, that war is over and his side won – I’m simply offering
this as food for thought and perhaps some confirmation of things you suspected.
Or things to make your head hurt too.
And as per usual, I have no idea what to do about it but I do know that come the
revolution Dear Leader is going to beat feet for the North Slope of
Alaska or someplace equally remote – but with golf courses! (See Things That I
Think About.)
Speaking
of food - and on a positive note - we can still get a cheeseburger in the US
for 99 cents - woo hoo!
(Speaking of Food) Fun Facts for the Fourth
Ah, the 4th of July, good old Grill a Weenie Day. (Called Independence Day by the founding fathers, like most holidays in this country we quickly forgot the original intent and got down to the real meaning!) By the way, did you know it was supposed to be July 2nd 1776? But the guys got to quibbling about the wording of the Declaration (“Thomas,
how many times have we told you not to use such big words!?”) so it took a
couple extra days. By the time they all got around to signing it, though, it
was August 2nd. How can you celebrate the 4th of July on
August 2nd? Well, you can’t so they just left it.
You probably know (unless, like me, you didn't pay attention in high school American history) actual fighting started in 1775 at Lexington and the Concord Bridge and the battle itself was less than two years after the famous Boston Tea Party. (Yes, another group of
angry white guys who, unlike their modern day brethren, mysteriously dressed up like Indians er,
Native Americans. Yeah, fooled
those dumb red coats!) Speaking of the Native Americans, you kind of have to wonder if they looked on the war with some irony. After all, it was a bunch of white guys killing each other over the their land but no matter which side won, the Indians lost. (They might have said, " Really sorry we invited "those" people over for Thanksgiving dinner!")
The fighting ended in 1781 but the treaty wasn’t signed until 1783 . That's almost as long as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan - but fortunately for us with a much better outcome. In yet more irony, I suppose the most powerful nation in the world then, Great Britain, probably thought that our guys were a bunch of terrorists. However, this was one of the only revolts in history led by the upper and middle classes rather than the poor folks so that can’t be true, can it? In fact, not a lot people actually wanted independence; we could still be colonists – hmmmm.
The fighting ended in 1781 but the treaty wasn’t signed until 1783 . That's almost as long as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan - but fortunately for us with a much better outcome. In yet more irony, I suppose the most powerful nation in the world then, Great Britain, probably thought that our guys were a bunch of terrorists. However, this was one of the only revolts in history led by the upper and middle classes rather than the poor folks so that can’t be true, can it? In fact, not a lot people actually wanted independence; we could still be colonists – hmmmm.
Finally, interesting but morbid fact: three of the original
founding fathers who became presidents died on the 4th of July. Two were
signers of the Declaration; Jefferson and Adams (John, not Samuel) who both died
on the 50 anniversary, July 4th, 1826. James Monroe died on the 4th
in 1831. How about that for a head scratcher?
So there you have it. Yet another reason to read the View Askew
– the straight skinny on history!
And an unusual 4th of July song. . .
Alice Cooper I Love America
New Songs for Old Farts
So encouraged am I that I have been forced to look for – and find – new music that I not only can tolerate but actually like. Try this, it’s terrific! (Kind of weird video though.)
(Ironically, I found this in a Golf Digest article about music the new, young pros like to listen while playing. Guess I’ll have to try that, nothing else seems to work.)
Things That I Think About
In the spring a young man’s fancy turns to love. An older man, who now looks at life in same
way that a eunuch looks at the sultan’s harem, must turn his fancy to something
equally as impossible yet just as painful – golf!
Every year it’s the same thing for me. First, in the depth of
winter I look forward to crystal blue Minnesota summer sky with large puffy
clouds floating by and many rounds of fun and skillful golf. Then, by the end
of June or so, after playing many rounds of so called “golf” (forget fun and/or
skillful,) I find myself ready to take up some other outdoor activity that is
both cheaper and less frustrating; happens every year, just like the movie “Groundhog
Day” (which, coincidentally, also starred Bill Murray.)
Then, just as I am poised to heave my clubs into the same swamp into which I had just pumped two expensive golf balls, I finally play a round of
golf the way I think it is supposed to be played (and which is almost always
much better than I am actually capable of playing on any consistent level.)
Presto! I am lured back to the heartless harlot that is golf.
Perhaps I can finally accept my fate as a crappy golfer and stop
fretting for, while I have discovered that I am terrible at golf, I am even
worse at everything else including drinking (sadly – it was always once one of
my greater gifts.) Also, I have had the great pleasure of spending some time
with some of my non-golfing comrades here and in FL. I have to say that while I admire their
creativity, I apparently don’t have the right stuff to waste fill my
time as they each do in their own unique ways. (I will leave those ways to your
imagination but it’s not necessarily pretty.)That leaves me, I fear, with my
old girlfriend, Golf. I do not arrive at this acceptance easily or without
apprehension – in fact, it sucks. I know how this is going to end as it always
must; with depression, pain and regret. But what am I to do?
Imagine this: it’s a beautiful Minnesota summer day. I’ve already
read the paper, got the mail, checked my internet business sites, taken care of
my class – and it’s only noon! Now, of all the things Mrs. Dear Leader wants
around the house I do not appear to be one of them. (Who that knows me can
blame her?) This leaves me with precious few options. Bird watching? (ugh!)
Biking (ouch). Volunteering (already
doing it). Gardening and yard work? (see
biking). Lounge by pool? (Friends with pools won’t let me come over any more).
Fishing? (See bird watching). No, there’s just not much left and none that
don’t cost a lot of money or are dangerous. (I actually was considering taking up paragliding,
you know, those parachute things with an engine but when I got back on my med’s
I realized that wasn’t a good idea.) So that brings me back to the one thing
that fills lots of time, is cheaper as you get older and once every 8 or 9
rounds actually brings a moment or two of great joy. That’s right, golf.
We have the upcoming MBGO (Male Bonding and Golf Outing, 27th
edition) in just six weeks when a group of formerly young guys now try to
survive a couple days away from home playing golf. Like all good Americans I
will not let long term issues cloud my current actions, damn it! I am going to
delude myself once again that if I just play enough this summer I will
have a chance to . . . not embarrass myself at the MBGO. Who knows, maybe even make
a run at winning it. I know, I know, like Charley Brown and the football, Lucy
- in the guise of fellow competitors Tom, Brian, Ace, Jerry or even the gimp,
Curt, (although in reality everyone but Denny has a chance) will almost
certainly yank away my self-respect at the last minute yet again but I accept
that. Besides, I am always the optimist in our group and that’s what keeps me
going. (I heard that snicker!)
So in closing, I apologize in advance for when almost certainly I take
back everything I just said here and again wish to quit the stupid game. In a sense
I’m not unlike my hero, Sarah Palin. She too was a quitter but that hasn’t
stopped her from pursuing a lot of really dumb ideas without any of the
essential skills – just like me and golf! No sir, for now I am going to climb
back on the beast that is golf and give it my best shot. And when the time
comes next summer to once again face reality I will just do what any red
blooded American does . . . whine a lot and claim victimhood! (And rest assured that you shall know the outcome of the Whoopin' in the Woods in a future newsletter.)
Certainly you have seen “Caddy Shack” 15 or 20 times like
me, right? Then you will remember this classic scene when Al Czervik
(Rodney Dangerfield) pops this tune on while out on the on golf course driving
Judge Smails (Ted Knight) nuts - this is just one reason why the movie is a
classic!
Caddy
Shack Anyway You Want It Sorry for the poor quality but I'll bet you still enjoy it. (And remember, the world needs ditch diggers too!)
More Things That I Think I Think About
The VA is
Supposed to Help Vets, Right?
From Vox on VA Scandal
The
VA, as my son noted soon after being hired nearly five years ago, has terrible
management, both processes and people. At first I thought he was being his
usual cynical self (must get it from his mother!) He was apparently correct
though (Got that from me.)
The
Veteran’s Affairs scandal really stinks and not just because it has hurt so
many veterans. It stinks because it also makes one lose faith in a lot of the
things that we take for granted about government and our country. It stinks
because it reminds us that greed, selfishness and stupidity exist everywhere in
our society. It stinks because apparently you really aren't paranoid to suspect the
worst in most of our institutions. (I mean if you can’t have faith in a system
that is supposed to take care of men and women who have fought for their
country, how can you have faith in anything?) And
it stinks because it reminds us that we are all to blame; it seems that very
few of us pay attention to anything outside the tiny sphere of our daily lives.
Then we are shocked, SHOCKED that things aren't what they seem – AND we have
the temerity to bitch. If it teaches us this much maybe that part doesn't stink.
Ironically,
as the article above points out, many of the current problems occurred because
they tried to employ some private business practices such as giving bonuses . .
. for the wrong things. As we learned
with the mortgage fiasco and the banking meltdown, bonuses for the wrong things
will always turn out badly. It’s more than that though; this is not a new
phenomenon at the VA, it’s been screwed up for forty years! Now who is to blame
for that?
I
know this: you cannot fight wars for ten years, creating hundreds of thousands
of young vets with lots of problems - in addition to us Korean and Viet Nam geezers – and then
pretend that you can manage it by smoke and mirrors and lists. (Of course, a wise country would think a bit more about the wars it decides to fight but that's a different topic.) This was a
failure from top down and includes Presidents Bush and Obama for being asleep
at the switch (although as noted, we could include several other presidencies
in here as well.) And Congress does not escape blame. The Republicans, wasting
time "investigating" Benghazi and the IRS and
the Democrats never seeing a government program they didn’t like no matter how
flawed - why don’t you dinks govern the country instead?! Anyway, there’s a lot more wrong with the VA and it’s going to take a lot of
work to straighten it out but hopefully they will before too many other vets
die.
On
the positive side, apparently the poor management problems do not extend to
care. For the most part, vets get good care once they get into the system.
Small
comfort, I suppose, for all those who didn’t make it.
Note. I was also going to comment
on the Bergdahl/Taliban exchange affair but there is still too much we don’t know to
even hazard an intelligent guess. (Unlike the genius’s at Fox and MSNBC, I like
to have actual facts to support my view.)
Additional Note.
How about the US Supreme Court and some of their decisions? I, for one, suspect that the Constitution is getting stretched into an unrecognizable scrap of paper. On the other hand, what if it is - is that a bad thing? I will have to think about this a bit more - and so should you. More to follow.
Additional Note.
How about the US Supreme Court and some of their decisions? I, for one, suspect that the Constitution is getting stretched into an unrecognizable scrap of paper. On the other hand, what if it is - is that a bad thing? I will have to think about this a bit more - and so should you. More to follow.
Dougie’s Doggerel for Everyone! (Okay, not this time)
The Peace of Wild Things
by
Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least
sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Thanks, for Reading, I Hope Your Summer is Going Swimmingly.
We’re up to
almost 175 readers and I am really pleased because I’d like to think that my
readers are both very intelligent and have a great (and forgiving) sense of
humor – who knew there were a 175 of you?! I thank you. If you are new to the View please
feel free to go back and take a peek at earlier issues to discover what you
have been missing. If you like it please bookmark the page and share the link with your intelligent friends.
(Why should you be the only one so wildly entertained?!) And don't be afraid to leave a comment, good, bad or indifferent.
In the
meantime . . .
“Be a good citizen of your world ”
(I swear to God, honey, I thought she was shorter!)
. . . and don’t be
a dope.
Quote Du Jour
" July 4th Statistics show that we lose more fools on this
day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the
number left in stock, that one 4th of July per year is now inadequate, the
country has grown so.” Mark Twain
A View Askew is the
sole property of D Roger Pederson, Mpls MN. You may forward without special
permission but if you want to use anything here for your own purposes please
send me a request at dpeders2002@gmail.com.
A View Askew
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