A View Askew

(Or: Did the Dinosaurs See the Comet?)

        May 2014                                                                                                Issue 12

Leporiphobia!

Yikes, a 6’ rabbit - No wonder kids have nightmares!  

Dear Leader often ponders deep subjects. He spotted this 6 foot rabbit at a recent Paschal brunch and was struck by the deep subject of the relationship among Easter, eggs and rabbits. Okay, I get Easter and eggs; they’re an ancient symbol of rebirth and spring and kind of fit in with the Christian story. Alas, I am at a loss on Easter and rabbits. Also, rabbits and eggs – clearly, someone is confused on their biology here.

On the other hand, it doesn't have to make sense. There is the fact that Easter isn't the first religious holiday – or any other holiday for that matter - to be taken over by corporate interests. In this case, oh, say, makers of cards, chocolates, Easter bonnets - and, dare I say, rabbit costumes?

But I digress. Happy spring to all! Despite the miserable, rotten, freezing, ?*$$@! weather we shall soon be able to say . . .

               “Hooray, hooray, the first of May, outdoor . . . kissing is here today!

Short Takes

Best Opening Lines (And not in a bar, you ninny!)

A famous novelist (of whom I had never heard, unfortunately) -  Gabriel Garcia Marquez – died recently. Novelists die every day (and probably old bloggers too) but in one of the articles about him I found this small tidbit: the opening line from his most famous novel was judged by people who judge this sort of thing as the fourth best ever. Fourth. Best. Ever. Here it is:

“ Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.” One Hundred Years of Solitude. (1967, Gabriel Garcia Marquez.)

You know what? That really is a great opening line! So much so that I downloaded the book and read it. Well, trudged through it might be closer to the truth. Seriously, it is a great book and well worth reading – if you have a LOT of time.

Now, if you’re a naturally curious person you are probably already wondering, what is the Number One best opening line of a novel? I’ll bet you can guess (we all read it in high school or college lit.)

You can confirm your guess at the end of this newsletter.

                                                              Okay, What is this??

Population of Earth Comparisons

And you thought that houses looked alike in your neighborhood! (Well, only if you lived in suburbs – just kidding!) This was just another one of those articles that tickle my fancy. (A fancy that is easily tickled, I admit.) The article (click on the link above) covers a lot of territory but is pretty easy to follow. It’s really just looks at different countries’ lifestyle and how big of a single city it would take to hold all 7 bill of us. (So that the rest of the world could be used to grow food, etc.) It also shows how much land it would take to support us if everyone lived like the people of various nations around the world. I was very pleased that it only would take 4.1 EARTHS to support everyone if they lived like us. Much better than those leakers in the United Arab Emirates which would take 5.4 - Ha ha ha!

I have only this to add – gimme a unit with a view!

How Americans Die

Now here’s a fascinating little slide show (link above) that you may have seen if you go to Bloomberg on line. There’s a lot of great information in here but the two things that I thought were most interesting is the data on the rise of suicide as the MAIN reason for violent death in a particular age group. What’s going on with that?? Also, the fact that overall longevity has kind of peaked. I guess that those of us who are hoping we are going to be able to live to be 200 may have to go back to the drawing board. (Besides, even if we could live to be 200 it still wouldn't stop us from being OLD – ugh!)

Music appropriate for topic  BOC Don't Fear the Reaper  (And for those smart alec's among you who are familiar with a famed SNL skit, yes, this is the song calling for more cow bell!)

Things That I Think About 

Facts, Beliefs and . . . Fear? (Part Two)

Take a look at the graphs above and when you finish reading the following please come back and see if you think about it differently.

In part one I babbled on about the difference between facts, opinions and beliefs. I concluded, “. . . given that we’re all so big on opinions and beliefs, why do we disrespect what other people believe so much? i.e. What I believe to be true must be true and if you don’t believe it then you are wrong. Furthermore, now they’re the freaking enemy! What the hell is wrong with us?!”

So what the hell IS wrong with us? Here’s what I BELIEVE: ultimately America has always been a land of optimism. It is the foundation of all that we have been; the key to our present and the hope of our future. It’s given us the confidence that our hard work could lead only to success; that we are, indeed, exceptional.

Here are some observations by yours truly; you decide if this still seems like an America of optimism and hope. (You can go to the links at your leisure – some very good stuff there!)

1. We work long hours - 40 hours? Har de har har! US Work Week and Benefits. We keep our heads down and don’t take all our vacation time. Americans and vacation We take work home and send emails on Sat – and from junior’s softball game – thanks smartphones! A lot of people feel they've fallen behind – and probably have.  Slipping out of middle class Even to those of us with “good” jobs it seems like we have become indentured servants and fear our jobs are headed overseas - or taken over by robots.

2. Apparently terrorists threaten our way of life and our very lives so much that we are willing to spend 2 ½ hrs waiting to board a plane. The threat is so dire that we obediently, like sheep, enjoy having our email and phone conversations listened into by NSA (more below). And let’s face it, over a decade of war - that is at best dubious in results versus the price we have paid - hasn't really made us feel any safer.  Americans Feel Unsafe  And what about those crazies with guns killing us at the mall or our kids at school - are we helpless to protect ourselves? (As Robin Williams said, “You have the right to bear arms - or right to arm bears, whatever the hell you want!)

3. Healthcare. The only advanced country in the world to have our health care provided by our employer. No job? Get sick, you die. (And Obamacare isn't so much a health care plan as a private health insurance full employment act. United Health Compensation ) Majority of ALL bankruptcies are due to medical costs. Bankruptcy Due to Medical Cost

4. What about those immigrants that sneak into our country and take our crappy jobs (assuming we even want those jobs) - you know, the guys doing all the lawn care and roofing and working at McDonalds. (Well they were until all the old farts went back to work and threw them out of a job!)  Americans Fear Immigrants. There are something like eleven million illegal aliens lurking all around us and who knows what evil they will do – and how many tax dollars they will soak up. And that’s not to mention “those people” who bring beliefs that just aren't . . . American.

5. How’s your pension? Oh, that’s right, unless you work for the government you probably don’t have one. Decline of Private Pensions  No sweat, your 401 will cover you – not! 401K Balances

6. Our children won’t get ahead without our extraordinary help so we now elbow our kids to front of the line to attend the “right” pre-school, high school and college. Cheating to Get Kid into Best Schools  I guess there are even parents who play classical music for their kids while still in the womb – now that’s a head start!  Music in the Womb. And obviously the kids must have access to every possible advantage including sports and activities and iPhones, etc. no matter the cost in time or money (and of course only a tiny minority of families can do all this.) Obviously, it’s not wrong to want the best for your kids but it just seems that there’s this sense urgency that borders on the hysteria now. Could this be the fear of the “shrinking pie?” Shrinking Pie

7. Perhaps our fears for our kids are well founded. Millennials are Screwed

8. And what about the government? A lot of us fear it too – and probably for good reason. Fearing Government  The recent events in Nevada can show the level of power that the Federal gov’t can impose (some would say abuse) BLM Outrage. At all levels, it often feels that it is not so much for us as after us. The government regulates everything to death in this country -  Ridiculous Gov't Regulations Except big banks - those boys steal hundreds of billions of dollars and don’t go to jail. NSA spies on us. NSA Facts On the other hand, government does a lot of good things too but some fear it doesn't enough for the average guy; 47 million of our fellow Americans qualify for food stamps – and the vast majority of them have jobs, like low ranking GIs. Yet multi-millionaire hedge fund managers pay taxes at the same rate as a couple of school teachers who make a hundred grand a year between them. Hedge Fund Tax Loophole .  And middle class people get hammered by the IRS - while you and I sweat through Apr 15, apparently we are picking up the check for some of our largest corporations and individuals. Avg Americans Subsidize Walmart Family. And not a few people are taking advantage of social security disability and welfare programs. SS Disability Fraud  So yeah, a lot of us fear the government and its downward slide toward - too much? Not enough? I guess it depends on your view.

9. Finally, just for fun, if you think YOU have problems how about our “upscale” friends?  Perfection Anxiety for the Rich  (If you don’t read any of the other links be sure you read this one – it will make you laugh AND cry!)

Okay, enough o’ that (although I have a lot more.) My point here is not to highlight all that is or might be bad in the country; there is equally much that is good. And, in fact, I don’t know if these things are a cause or an effect. I’m talking about perceptions and it’s my OPINION that many, many of us perceive these things to be true - and that is bound to influence how we act.

I hope I’m wrong but I don’t see optimism as our driving force anymore. Rather than optimism it really smells of fear - and fear is powerful force. Fear can make us believe that we are no longer in control of our fate – and it can make us behave in very selfish ways; perhaps in ways like the examples above?

Go back and look at those graphs at the beginning of this post. Were you surprised by some of those outcomes? They seem to add to our perceptions - and that’s damn sad!

Everything becomes black and white: the rich/the poor, givers/the takers, the workers/the employers, the north/the south, the urban/rural - me against you. Everything we do is driven by fear, a pervasive fear, rather than hope and optimism.

I’m not sure what to do but I don’t think it has to be this way; nothing says we have to live in fear or that we can’t confront those fears and beat them - for God's sake we survived two world wars and a depression! But to do so I think we will also have to confront our beliefs - and take back our lives.

So there you have it, my Pervasive Fear Theory. Not exactly the Theory of Relativity but best I can do!

To leave on a positive note, here is one of the greatest songs of the American spirit ever written! I hope you agree (and maybe try to re-capture it?) Copland Fanfare for Common Man  

More Things That I Think I Think 

Lost Years Found - or

               Gift of Time?

While talking to a neighbor who is quite a bit younger (which is pretty much all of them) I was asking him something about what he thought about the Russkies and Ukraine. He was only vaguely aware that anything was amiss. He also described, however, how out of touch (or his lack of interest therein) that he feels about of a lot things – plug in many of your favorite events or developments. At first I’m thinking, “Geez, this is pretty important stuff, how come you’re not paying attention, pal?” (Judgmental dink that I am.) Oh well, he has two young children, he works long hours, he has a lot going on.

As I thought about this, though, it struck me that his experience isn't all that uncommon; that someone might easily lose touch with certain aspects of our ever and fast changing society during the rush of life. In fact, it reminded me of my very own encounter with this phenomenon.

Just a few years ago I finally discovered REM, you know, the music group? Also Pearl Jam and Nirvana. Wow, this is great music! Oddly, I discovered that they were basically all hugely popular in the early to mid-90s. Now, I really like their music and, having always loved music in general (I know the first couple bars of every rock song ever done; okay, every GOOD rock song since 1965 which was when good rock started) it was all the more reason that I was shocked that I had never heard of these guys. I may have HEARD their music but it must not have been memorable - at the time. But seriously, how did I miss that? Then it occurred to me; from the mid 80’s to mid-90s I had two fairly young kids, I was busy working and had a lot going on. And do you think this might happen to a lot of people? Well, duh! Clearly, most of the things, like creating a home, raising a family and trying to keep a job are going to occupy a huge hunk of attention from most of us. And thank God for that.

But this begs a larger question though; I wonder what else I may have missed besides REM? I would say probably a lot but how do I know? It’s not a question you can ask while in the moment. (And you might not like the answer anyway.) And you know what? It probably wasn’t only those few years that I identified; I may have been clueless quite a bit longer and about a lot of other things. In fact, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure of it. Equally possible, however, this may be why these questions end up being asked later; we really do have some lost years that must be found.

Another epiphany here is about how great a portion of our lives (for pretty much all of us) is driven by influences that are, by and large, out of our control. It sort of like being in a canoe careening down the river, bouncing off one experience after the other, each seemingly, how shall we say, Mundane? Fleeting? Clearly very important at the time yet also diverting our attention from many other things going on that may be of equal or greater importance.

And finally - the great leap of logic! - here I am, discovering a lot of things that I wish I had thought of before. The pensive, late middle-aged (harrumph) baby boomer, thinking great thoughts and becoming wise (or, depending on your view, cynical.) Indeed, thinking of many of the things that are often associated with middle age - and mid-life crisis. But maybe this and a lot of the stuff regarded as mid-life crisis isn't so much a crisis of age, maybe it’s actually a gift of time. Maybe it’s simply life’s way of letting you hit the rewind - make that TiVo - on your life, to go back and fill in the gaps you missed doing your job when you occupied a younger man’s space.

It also makes you appreciate REAL renaissance people who seem to be able to pay attention to everything all the time. 

On the other hand, while this theory explains a lot, it does not, unfortunately, explain the old fart who buys a red Corvette, leaves his wife of 30 years and runs off with his 25 year old secretary. I’ll have to think about that some more.

                            New Addition to View Askew – Dougie’s Doggerel for Everyone!

A Father's Gift

(Anonymous 1993)

Solomon had nothing on my dad

(regarding best parenting skills.)

Five kids, each made special;

That was my father’s gift.

Between my dawn and

Now this early dusk

Certain truths become obvious to me.

It's not games attended,

Or the money spent,  even family time

That creates the bonds that last . . .

 Special nickname (origin unknown)

and special stories between just us two -

 the secret of a father and son’s love.

Born the middle of five -

 a competitor for love?

Not me, I was his only child. 

That was dad's gift to me.

Good music to accompany bad poetry  (a certain dad's favorite song . . .)

Nat King Cole Stardust

Number One Opening Sentence of a Novel?

“Call me Ishmael.” Moby Dick, 1851, Herman Melville

Way to go - you got it right!

That’s it, thanks for reading.

 I hope you are enjoying the links to music and other reading. If not, then, as they say in southern Russia (besides, apparently, “Pass the Ukraine, please”) “toughsky shitsky . . . ya’lI” - it’s all about me! Our little band of intelligent readers continues to grow so continue to share and . . .

 “Be a good citizen of your world ”

Oh goody - look, a tender morsel on a half shell! And I see he’s reading a book on how to hunt lions.

. . . and don’t be a dope.

Quote Du Jour

"Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers." Voltaire

A View Askew is the sole property of D Roger Pederson, Mpls MN. You may forward without special permission but if you want to use anything here for your own purposes please send me a request at dpeders2002@gmail.com.

A View Askew