A View Askew
(Or: Did the Dinosaurs See the Comet?)
Mar (Again) 2014 Issue
10
The
Tournament Now Has a Name . . .
Golf tournament
participants marveling at yet another expensive prize. Tim Fuzzey, left, awarding
the less-than-desirable “Last Place Chicken” to Bob Luttio. (Tim was a
previous champion.)
I may have mentioned that a few of us started an
annual drinking golf outing some 27 yrs ago. We were youngish, had kids
and jobs so we thought it was a good idea to get away for a couple days a year
and get dumb/er (not a long journey for most of us.)
Early on we decided that we needed a trophy. We
also thought that it would be clever to call it the “Pre-Memorial” Tournament,
intention being to give the honor of being the namesake to the first person to
pass on – thus the trophy you see above. Over the years our numbers have grown
and receded, names have come and gone but throughout we have hung onto this
tradition. Sadly, we now have a name to put on our trophy. Let me say first
that I somehow never thought anyone’s name would go on here. (I know, I
know naivety and/or avoidance.) We’ve got some septuagenarians (and an almost octogenarian!)
now - yet I still just never really thought that one of us would actually go on
the trophy. Or what it would mean when it did. Well, going forward our event
will be called The Tim Fuzzey Memorial
MBGO. Pastor Tim - he was an associate pastor at Mt Olivet for many years and
retired from there not too long ago - will now grace our tournament with his
name.
Timmy joined us about 10 years after we started but
had to give it up a few years ago due to health issues. Tim passed away very
recently after a long illness. 69 – far too young and far too good a man. (I
have wondered aloud that if God will take a man like Tim so early what has he
got in mind for a muttonhead like me?) On one of his first outings with us it
quickly became clear that he would be the adult supervision that this group so
desperately needed. Not just because of his collar but because of the thoughtfulness
he added to our conversations (if you can call them that.) Don’t get me wrong,
he enjoyed a good cigar and equally good martini so he fit right in but he just
had these quiet insights that only a theologian can have.
Allow me to tell you just one short story that will
give you some idea of the man we are proud to name our tournament after.
As luck would have it, on his first trip with us Tim
and I shared a cart on a beautiful summer day in Brainerd. He had joined us
from his annual job as a camp chaplain on the up north somewhere for a couple
weeks. I remember it like it was yesterday. He was smoking a cigar as we rode
along. He looked at me and said “Dougie, there is nothing better in life than
this. Time at the camp with the kids and now golf with good friends. It’s
simply the best.”
A few years later Mrs. Dear Leader and I were
honored to have Tim marry us.
Timmy, you were right, there is nothing better –
but it will be a lot less so now that you are gone.
RIP, Fuzzhead!
(I’m sorry, it is not my intent for
this newsletter to become another source of obituaries but it was important for
me to share this or I might blow up. Thanks for reading.)
Short Takes
Soon Gone – and Hopefully Soon
Forgotten
An
interesting counterpoint to Tim’s passing is another clergyman on the brink,
Pastor Fred Phelps. You may remember him as the guy whose Kansas church sent
protestors all over the country to the funerals of Iraq and Afghanistan GIs,
saying they deserved to die because America tolerates abortion and homosexuals.
One of the most despicable, hateful and disgraceful acts ever perpetrated by
anyone but especially by a so called man of God. I’m not very religious but I’m
hoping that if there is a God, that He/She is reserving a special place for him
and his minions – and it will be nowhere near where the GIs and Tim hopefully
rest.
Now Back to Our Light
Hearted Fare
Retirement Job?
While
exploring the delights that are south Florida I decided that I maybe could
supplement my retirement income by buying an air boat business in the
Everglades. Just think about it: out in the fresh air, lots of wild life . . .
hanging around with people with fewer teeth than me – it could be perfect.
Then
I bumped into a few problems. First, there’s the issue of actually going into a
swamp where there are snakes and alligators and stuff. Then, there’s the bugs
and heat. Finally, the minor detail that I don’t know how to drive an air boat.
New idea: Maybe I could make some money
as a beer cart guy in FL . . .
Uh, that would be a no!
Curse of the Ides of March
Whew,
we lived through the Ides of March again. As you probably know, there’s a lot
of interesting things that have happened on March 15th through the
years:
- Christopher Columbus got back to Spain from his first Caribbean cruise on this date in 1493.
- Tsar Nicholas II quits while quitting is good in 1917 – followed almost immediately by execution by the dirty commies. (Guess it wasn’t so good.)
- First contraceptive clinic opens in Raleigh NC in 1937 – among the many liberal things that state is now famous for?
- LIFE magazine declares Jimi Hendrix “most spectacular guitarist in the world” in 1968. Excuse me while I kiss
Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, apparently some famous Italian dude – guy who invented Caesar’s salad? – got whacked by senatorial mobsters in 44BC.
Now for the real reason for this dumb topic. You know how sometimes you get a song stuck in your head and can’t get it out? Well, sorry, but this whole thing was just a cheap tawdry trick for the single purpose of sticking you with it. Great memories though. I was a newly minted 2nd Lt, making the princely sum of $520/mo and livin’ la vida loca!
Here hugo! Click on link - now it’s your turn - see what memories it conjures up for you.
Happy
Six Month Anniversary - Thanks for Sharing the Link!
Despite
my best efforts we seem to be growing our little band of readers; started at
around 50 and now over 125 regulars. You are brutes for punishment – but keep it
up!
Things That I Think
About
Liberals and Conservatives – Who’s Who?
Alexander Hamilton Thomas Jefferson
(Do you know who was the first liberal and first conservative by today’s standards?
Answer at the end.)
In
my last newsletter I made the observation on global warming that it seems
“liberals’ generally seem to accept the theory and that “conservatives”
generally don’t. I’m not even sure that’s true but it made me think more about
those labels; what do the words liberal and conservative even mean today?
I’m interested,
really, in just the concept of being “liberal” and conservative.”For example, what
makes a person liberal or conservative? Are you born either one like being right
or left handed? (I was going to say born gay but quickly understood how that
might not work as an analogy for some!) Or do you become one or the other
because of your experience in life, you know, nature or nurture? Why does
someone believe one thing or the other? First, how about some. . . perspective!?
As you may remember from high school history, the United States was created as a “liberal democracy” when we rebelled against
the monarchy of Great Britain and that’s what we remain. Democracies by
definition are liberal. For example, in many countries around the world the
most conservative American would be a wild eyed liberal; think Saudi Arabia or
even Singapore. On the other hand, the most devout liberal in America would be very
far from that in countries like Norway or Denmark (and shocked by the taxes I
might add!) Okay, okay, I know we don’t live in those countries but it kind of
tells me that we have more in common as Americans than we might think.
So
what is a liberal in the good, old USA?
“If by a
"Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone
who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the
welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs,
their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break
through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if
that is what they mean by a "Liberal", then I'm proud to say I'm a
"Liberal.”
John F. Kennedy, Profiles
in Courage
And what is a
conservative?
“To be conservative, then, is to prefer the familiar to the unknown, to
prefer the tried to the untried, fact to mystery, the actual to the possible,
the limited to the unbounded, the near to the distant, the sufficient to the
superabundant, the convenient to the perfect, present laughter to utopian
bliss.”
Michael Oakeshott, Rationalism in Politics and Other Essays
Nice
philosophy, huh? But do they sound like the liberals and conservatives today? I don't think so either. Let's face it, doesn't it just all come down to how you view government today? Doesn't that define your philosophy? And
I doubt that this is a recent phenomenon. Let me tell a short story that I think many
of you can relate to. My mom and dad were working class folks who came through the
Great Depression and my dad had to work on WPA projects sponsored by the
federal government to feed the family. Because of that, I suppose, to their
last days on earth they were Democrats - they wouldn’t even consider a
Republican candidate! Dear Leader’s wife came from a family of bankers. They definitely did not start out wealthy but were good,
hard working people, generous people but Republicans to the core - Democrats
were the enemy. So were our families really so different? I doubt it, but
their perceptions about the government sure were different and that was their reality.
Whose perception was wrong? Maybe neither and maybe both, doesn't matter. Our folks - and millions of others - just started giving their loyalty by party affiliation and by how they related to the government and not really by liberal or conservative philosophy. Just like countless millions then and today. Is it good or bad? Who knows and again, who cares?
“It is a well known fact that reality has
liberal bias.”
Stephen
Colbert
So I
guess my point is that we I don’t think we really have conservatives or
liberals today in the sense above. We just have views of government that drive
our philosophy, not the other way around.
So
what about the political parties that supposedly represent conservatives and
liberals today? I’m not a big fan of either. I think the political parties have
co-opted the terms “liberal” and “conservative”
and in some (most?) cases “sticking” the other party with the most unflattering
things from their real or imagined philosophy – and they don’t really represent either philosophy
properly. Certainly, I don’t think my parents or my in laws would recognize
what the parties have become today.
I also
firmly believe that both parties have themselves been co-opted by big money
from countless special interest groups which has made them totally unresponsive to either
real liberals or real conservatives. (In an ironic twist, I hope the Tea Party
can resist being swallowed by the Republican party. In fact, I hope that
something comparable could develop in the Democrat party so they could actually
stand for something as well.)
"They have this idea that people
should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do. Government should
keep our taxes down and keep our regulation low and that we shouldn't get
involved in the bedroom, we shouldn't get involved in cultural issues, you
know, people should do whatever they want. Well, that is not how traditional
conservatives view the world, and I think most conservatives understand that
individuals can't go it alone, that there is no such society that I'm aware of
where we've had radical individualism and that it succeeds as a culture."
Former Senator Rick Santorum
(That well known liberal)
So if
we can’t trust the parties to define liberal and conservative how can we?
Damned if I know! It just seems that
there are a lot of smart people on both sides so if we could figure out why we
believe what we do and not let others tell us what to believe maybe we’d be better
off. I think we need to quit listening to the political chattering class who
claim to speak for us rather conservative or liberal (Republican or Democrat) -
most are paid to spread outrage and not really solve any problems. I guess my point
is (assuming I actually have a point) that we need to forget labels and just pay
attention to issues that are important to us and use our own noggin to think
about them.
“Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I
think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious.
It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.”
Louis C. K.
Sooner
or later, like every other society in history, ours will collapse too (do you think
the Mayans had a Chris Mathews or Sean Hannity helping them over the cliff ?) I’m
pretty sure, however, it will be sooner if we don’t knock off this BS carping
at each other over imagined differences –
and listen to Ike!
“Extremes to the right and to the left of any political dispute are
always wrong.”
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Answer to quiz: Hamilton would be the first “big
government” liberal; he wanted a strong central government. He also kind of
wanted the President to be a king - Hmmmm. Jefferson feared a strong a central
government – but was the first to create strong president doing whatever he
pleased without congressional approval. Go figure.
I am endlessly
fascinated by simple things in life like
. . . water. I just did some basic reading and the more I read about it
the more apparent that it’s a big deal – and surprising. Oh, our beloved “Big
Gulp!”
“And the astonishing fact is that producing a single
half-litre bottle of fizzy pop consumes between 150 and 300 litres of water,
depending on whether the sugar comes from beet grown in the Netherlands or cane
produced in Pakistan or Cuba.” The
National magazine, Jan 12, 2013
I found the fact above
kind of mind boggling. Converting from that commie metric system to good, old
American gallons this means that it takes about 80 -160 gallons of fresh water
to make one gallon of pop. Holy mackerel! Sadly, pop is not the biggest use of water,
it’s – ta da – good old beef! Estimates vary between 500-2000 gals of water for
each POUND of boeuf.
“As people become wealthier they consume
more goods and food that in turn consume more water. And as it is, agriculture
already consumes about 80 per cent of all freshwater used on Earth.” The National
magazine, Jan 12, 2013
I like to drink a lot
of water when I play golf (as Mrs Dear Leader’s says, it always comes back to golf!) but I really hate paying for a bottle
of it though because it’s so dumb – and expensive. Not tough math so you probably already figured this
out yourself: if you buy a quart of just basic Dasani or Aquafina (which as
we all know is just tap water) and you pay $2.50 you are obviously paying the equivalent
of 10 bucks a gallon. And we bitch when we pay $3.50 for a gal of gas?! Are we
nuts?! Nope, we just don’t know much about water and what we do know is
probably wrong.
As they point out in
one of the articles that I linked below, we all think of water as “free.” That is,
nobody actually owns water (like they do oil or iron ore) we just pay to have
it come into our homes (or for the convenience of having somebody take “free” water
and charge us ten bucks a gallon to put into a nice, convenient polluting plastic bottle.) The problem is that maybe water won't always be free - think about how that will work.
So what you may ask?
Well, if you have the time, take a look at the links below or explore the topic
for yourself. The good news, contrary to
what I thought, is that we are not going to run out of water. The bad
news is that it is going to become a LOT more expensive as more of it has to be
cleaned up or desalinated and/or moved from places with fresh water (think, us)
to those without it (think AZ, CA, etc.) And that’s just the US.
"Both wealth and the technology that
comes with wealth have allowed people to not pay any attention to the natural
limits of the places where they live, which always through human history we
did," says Professor Crawford-Brown.”
Same old problem – too many people living where
they shouldn’t!
Stay thirsty, my friends!
And in
Closing
Now
for Something Completely Different (Thanks, Monty Python)
This is not what it looks
like! Well, okay, it is what it looks like but it’s not what you think. I mean,
it could be what you think but it’s not. Oh crap, let me explain.
As a counterpoint to the
sadness of Tim’s passing I thought I’d bring a light hearted moment from our
annual extravaganza, better known as the Male Bonding & Golf Outing (or
MBGO.)
The competition is, of
course, very spirited on the course. To break the tension, several years ago we
added a more relaxed off course competition as well – a fashion contest. Now
most of us manly men lack the imagination of some; we wear the same things:
loud golf pants, golf shirts swamped with logos, golf hats named after courses
we’ve never played, yada yada yada. Well
one year, one of our more daring members decided to shake things up and model
the long golf skirt. Now this was way before women wore these short golf skirts
we see today (under which, sadly, they wear shorts.) Nonetheless, Norm R., the
spirited competitor above, was the first to sashay onto the first tee in this
lovely floral print made up of tiny pink golfers with their putters in their
hand. (Or is it pink golfers with tiny putters in their hand?)
Anyway, while this
particular golf fashion did not take off for either men or women you can see by
the response by one of our founding members (and four time champion!) Curt B., that despite Norm’s demure refusal,
his daring statement did not go unappreciated. (The competitor in the
background, Brian A. who, somewhat less impressed, decided to sort the snacks
for us.)
We cancelled the fashion
show in perpetuity shortly after the rest of the photos came out.
Thanks for your Patience and Reading
Keep sharing the link . . .
“Be a good citizen of your world ”
. . . and don’t be
a dope
Quote Du Jour
A View Askew is the sole property of D Roger Pederson, Mpls MN. You may forward without special permission but if you want to use anything here for your own purposes please send me a request at dpeders2002@gmail.com.
A View Askew
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